


What The Heart Wants

by ElopeToTheSea



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Love Triangles, M/M, No Keyblades (Kingdom Hearts), alternative universe, idk what im doing man, shrugs loudly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 11:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20152768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElopeToTheSea/pseuds/ElopeToTheSea
Summary: Ask Riku when he met Sora, and he would give you a funny look. Then, the five-year-old would call his friend to ask him the same question. They’d both be pensive for a long time, trying to recall a time when they hadn’t known each other. A before for their after. But they’d eventually get tired from thinking so much, and then shrug.The truth was, none of them could remember. Their mothers maybe could, but the effort seemed pointless. After all, they’d had been together long enough for the world ‘forever’ to slip easily past by.Riku had known Sora for forever.





	What The Heart Wants

_1 Land_

Ask Riku when he met Sora, and he would give you a funny look. Then, the five-year-old would call his friend to ask him the same question. They’d both be pensive for a long time, trying to recall a time when they hadn’t known each other. A _before_ for their after. But they’d eventually get tired from thinking so much, and then shrug.

The truth was, none of them could remember. Their mothers maybe could, but the effort seemed pointless. After all, they’d had been together long enough for the world ‘_forever’_ to slip easily past by.

Riku had known Sora for forever.

Every little secret - every little thing - they told each other. Like the time Sora failed his math test, or when Riku broke his mother’s vase. Riku told Sora when he found the little cave underneath the waterfall in their island and, in turn, Sora had confessed he still slept with a meow wow plushie.

They shared everything too. To the point that Riku couldn’t help but feel like anything he had was Sora’s and anything Sora had, was his. Attached to the hip as they were, you couldn’t see one without the other.

Riku had thought that, at some point, Sora would grow tired of him. After all, he was the silent type around others and not much fun in large groups. But regardless of that, Sora still stuck around. Whenever Riku started feeling uneasy around all their friends, Sora would take his hand and drag him somewhere else. They almost always escaped to the island that held their secret place, to run around even when everyone else was on the other side.

And it didn’t matter how much Riku thought he was bothering him; Sora would always smile.

“You’re my best friend, Riku!” he would say, his grin so wide Riku wondered if it hurt. “I want to spend time with you the most!”

It always left a warm steady feeling inside his heart. Like a small fireplace had been placed right next to it. Often, he couldn’t fight the blush that spread upon his cheeks whenever Sora said that.

“You’re such a sap,” he’d respond with no real bite at all. Sora then stuck out his tongue.

“Not!”

They both laughed, continuing their games.

On itself, they weren’t all that important. Sometimes they fought with wooden swords, others they simply raced until they were beaten, or they swam in the ocean’s shore.

It didn’t matter what they were doing. What was important was that they were together.

Childish summer days every day, almost like they were stuck in a dream. Riku wouldn’t have traded those days for anything in the world. 

And maybe they would have stayed like that, oblivious of the pain that a shattered heart. If it hadn’t been for her.

Red hair, like the sheen of a perfect rose. She was like the sea, tranquil and sweet. Always with a smile on her face, as she opened her arms for everyone to fit in.

She was the perfect girl.

He hadn’t thought much of her until he turned towards Sora.

In a second, Riku’s entire world shattered. His chest heavy with a distant and foreign feeling, as his throat got tighter. Sora’s eyes were fixated on the girl, a small blush on his cheeks.

He had seen those eyes in the movies. Whenever the boy met the girl, whenever they were meant to be together. It was so strange to see the same look in his friend…towards someone else.

“Riku,” Sora said, voice shaking as he fidgeted in his place. Riku had never seen Sora so nervous. A bitter feeling crawled up his skin when he realized that this was a side of Sora he hadn’t seen before. And it _wasn’t_ directed at him. “Can we go say hi?”

Deep, deep, down Riku, wanted to say no. He wanted to take Sora’s hand and take him far away, where the little red-haired girl wouldn’t bother them. He wanted so badly to make him forget about her. To erase her from the world, for daring to steal Sora away with a simple gesture. It was as if his own heart was eating him from the inside out.

But he couldn’t. No matter how much he tried to do that, the begging look that Sora had was more powerful than any emotion he could ever hold.

“S-sure!” he said, his voice was as strained as Sora’s. He internally cursed. The last thing he wanted to do was make Sora worried. “You like her, huh?”

“It’s not like that!” Sora insisted; his face was still burning up.

That was the first lie.

Sora had never lied to him. Not even when the secret was embarrassing or weird. Riku knew everything about Sora because Sora _told_ him.

“_Sure_,” he said. His voice was back to normal, but his heart wasn’t. “Then, you won’t mind if I make a move on her?”

He knew it wasn’t fair. Sora genuinely liked the girl, but here he was, trying to trick him into giving her up. It was unfair.

Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

Not when the slight anger that bubbled inside Sora’s eyes was there, _directed_ at him.

“What!?”

“The first one to get to her gets to ask her out!” he cried, dashing away. He left Sora behind quickly. The boy was too shocked to even move.

He had won. Sora was red in the face, almost boiling.

“I was just kidding,” he had said after the race was over. “You can ask her out, you know?”

“Jerk,” Sora had replied, with a light push. Riku laughed, trying to ignore the way his chest was heavy with feelings he couldn’t name.

The girl had smiled at their antics, and while she didn’t seem like a bad person…Riku couldn’t help but dislike her.

_2 Sky_

Kairi was the prettiest girl Sora had ever laid eyes on. Whenever she was around, he got self-conscious of all the things he hadn’t thought before. It was hard not to when everything that Kairi did was perfect.

And when his rival was Riku.

He didn’t think he could ever come to hate Riku, no matter how much the boy teased him. However, the longest their friendship went on, it seemed like the strain on it was getting bigger.

The rift that had been created by the competition for Kairi’s attention had slowly morphed into a crack that he couldn’t quite fix. 

No longer would the days be filled with games of tag and sword fight. Riku now almost completely ignored him, in favor of hanging out with the XIII gang. It made Sora feel lonely, no matter how many friends he still had. After all, Riku was his best friend. A hole like that was difficult to fill in.

If he wanted to hang out with Riku at all, it was always by fighting, in an attempt to charm Kairi. Which only made Sora feel even worse.

Riku was way better than him at almost anything, and he showed this off by winning races, getting higher grades, even by beating up the two guys who had been bullying her.

After all, no matter how hard he tried, he always lost to Riku.

But Kairi…that was the one thing he didn’t want to lose.

Kairi was kind. When they were fighting and Sora got injured, she would come down from the nearby tree she was sitting on and offer a band-aid. She got them both water when the races were over and made them all three charms for the exams.

It wasn’t much, but it gave light to Sora’s heart. It made him giddy to hold the charm Kairi had given him. It twinkled against the bright sun, enough to blind him.

He could feel the heated gaze from Riku whenever this happened though. Maybe, Sora liked to think, Kairi liked him better. Maybe, for the first time ever, he was winning on something. Maybe, just maybe, he could be _enough_ for Kairi.

That’s why, when they turned fourteen, Sora had asked to meet Riku at the beach.

“I’m gonna confess to Kairi tomorrow,” he said, hiding his face from the sunset. Riku tensed by his side. Sora forced himself to continue. “Is that okay with you?”

Riku shrugged.

“Why do you ask me?” Riku asked. “If you want to, just ask her-”

“I _like_ her,” Sora said, his voice strained, to the point of breaking. “I know that I can’t compete with you…So if you wanna ask her first, then-”

“Sora,” Riku called. His voice was soft, just like when they were kids. How long had it gone by since he had heard it? “Do you really love her?”

_Love_. It was a different word. But despite it, Sora couldn’t help but blurt out:

“Yes.” He tried to blink away the tears that were collecting in the corners of his eyes. “More than _anything_.” 

Riku sighed. His hand rested on Sora’s head; a soft ruffle that made Sora close his eyes. It felt nice.

“I think,” he said with a low voice. It made Sora look up, towards his best friend. The light from the twilight shining against his face. He looked so cool. It caused a small pang of jealousy inside Sora. “You like her more than me.”

“But you-!” he tried to protest.

“The heart is a foolish thing, Sora,” Riku said, without meeting Sora’s eyes. “We can’t control what it chooses…And I think both your and Kairi’s hearts have decided what they want.”

Sora looked down to the sand, suddenly feeling bad. He had spent so many years feeling jealous over Riku, so many moments thinking he would be better for Kairi…When in reality he was the one hurting.

“Maybe she likes you,” he offered. “If she rejects me, and she _likes_ you…then you can-!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Riku replied, letting a small laugh escape him. Sora knew him too well to miss the bitterness mixed in. “I don’t think I liked her all that much, to begin with.”

That was strange. Sora could only send his friend a puzzled look, as Riku got up from the sand.

“But you were always teasing me-!”

“You’re just too obvious with your crush,” Riku intercepted quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly. “Not teasing you would have been a crime!”

“Hey!”

The laugh that followed almost made him travel back in time. Back to when it was just Riku and him playing around in the island, trying to fight imaginary monsters on the edge of the shore. Back when he could hold Riku’s hand without the other pulling away. That alone was enough to bring a smile back to Sora’s face.

“I miss you, Riku,” Sora said, closing his eyes to enjoy the breeze of the sea. “What happened to us?”

Riku didn’t have an answer, so they continued to stare towards the horizon.

“I hope…” Riku said. There was something strange in his voice, but Sora couldn’t quite place what it was. “…that you’re happy with her.”

Sora’s heart squeezed. The tears that had yet to dry from his face fell to the ground.

“Thanks, Riku…” he said softly. “You’re a good friend.”

Sora wished he could have heard a reply, but it was as if the slow moment that had entrapped them together had evaporated.

Riku didn’t answer. He simply stared beyond what he could see, while Sora tried to find the last bits of friendship he had, to glue them back together.

He asked Kairi out the next day, with sweaty palms and bright red face. The nerves had eaten him to the point he had stumbled upon his words, mixing names, and eventually tripping.

The laughter from his classmates was deafening, as he tried to get up.

And Kairi?

She said yes.

_3 Sea _

‘_You’re a good girl, Kairi_.’

Those words had been said to her, ever since she was a kid.

And she believed them.

Simply because she needed to. If not from everyone else, who would she hear them from? Back home, she was lucky if mother even noticed her, or if dad didn’t yell.

So when the girls in her grade said she was a good person; when the teachers said she was a good kid; when everyone around him praised her for being kind…

It just made sense for her to follow that path.

For that reason, she had created three simple rules.

_Number one: always smile_.

No one liked frowny faces, after all. And as long as she cheered on people with a big smile on her face, no one would be sad. It was a simple rule, but probably one of the hardest to keep. Especially when there were days when she didn’t want to get up from the bed, much less keep the mask on her face.

But it paid up.

Everyone always said it was the best thing about her. Her infinite smile.

_Number two: don’t be selfish_.

After she had been taken by childish custody, her mind had engraved that rule.

‘_You’re selfish for leaving, Kairi_,’ was what her mother had said.

That’s why she had to try her best not to be selfish.

She shared everything she had, never having a thing of her own. If someone asked for the doll she was playing, she would give it. If someone had tripped, she would help them. If someone needed anything, she was the first one to offer it.

That’s why, when she got wound up in the strange competition that Sora and Riku had, she had simply smiled. It would have been selfish to stop them from having fun, so she let them.

She wasn’t selfish and shared her things with Sora.

Then, why did Riku glare at her like that?

Why did he hate her?

She tried not to be selfish with Riku too. Be it water bottles, charms, or anything at all, she would give it. Because not-selfish kids were loved.

And Kairi wanted to be loved.

That was probably the only selfish thought she allowed inside of her. Only because it was a thought. And thoughts couldn’t hurt anyone, right?

Anyone other than herself, that is. 

She had tried her best, but it seemed like no matter what, Riku would still hate her. Her mind traced back her steps, wondering what she had done to hurt him. Kairi wasn’t selfish, so if she could give whatever Riku wanted up, then she would.

“Kairi,” Sora said, face red as he took her hands in his. “Please go out with me!”

_Number three: always say yes. _

She smiled softly, tilting her head to the side. The words escaped her before she could stop them.

“Yes,” was her answer.

For two years, Sora was a good boyfriend. By the time they reached their last year of high school, they were known as the perfect couple. Everyone envied them, thinking they were perfect for each other. People joked about being invited to their wedding.

And, while it was nice to have someone she could laugh with after school -someone she could talk to and hand out with-…It all felt too… strange. Sora kept insisting on _giving_, instead of receiving.

He gave her smiles, gifts, time, favors, kisses…

And Kairi was selfish for taking them. And even more selfish for not wanting them.

She was stuck in a loop. Feeling guilty for receiving so much. For being _selfish_. But unsure of what to do to make it stop without hurting Sora.

He was a good boy. Someone who genuinely loved her -or at least, the part of her that wasn’t _broken_\- and wanted her to be happy. And here she was, playing around with the heart of that poor boy.

It’s not that she didn’t like him. He was a good friend. But that was everything. A friend.

She didn’t love him. Not the way he so desperately wanted her to.

In the haze of her blurry of emotions, she had gone to the rooftop of the school. The sight was beautiful from up there. The lights that shone from the sun setting was enough to calm her down.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were here,” a voice called for her. When she turned, she saw Xion’s face. A girl in her classroom who hung out with people grades above. “You mind I join you?”

Kairi nodded slowly. _Always say yes_.

“Thanks,” Xions said, as she seated next to Kairi. “I don’t know what I would have done if you said no.”

She opened the little plastic wrapper in her hands, pulling out a popsicle from it. Kairi stared.

“You want some?” Xion asked, with a small laugh.

Kairi’s face turned red, shaking her head slightly.

_Don’t be selfish_.

“Come on, I know you want it,” Xion insisted, handing it in Kairi’s hand. It was sticky, but the coolness of it made her feel better. “Besides, I think you need it more than I do!”

Kairi stared at Xion with a puzzled look.

“What do you mean?”

Xion’s eyebrows lowered, giving her a pitiful look.

“I know dead eyes when I see them,” she replied. “Wanna talk about it?”

_ <strike>Always smile</strike> _ <strike>. </strike>

It was as if the dam inside of her had been opened. No one had ever asked her that, she realized. No one had ever bothered to ask her if she was _okay_. Everyone just assumed she was. It was the first time she had looked inside of herself and found just how utterly _lost_ she was. 

Her grip on the popsicle was faltering, as big sobs came from her mouth. Tears were tainting her cheeks, trying to hold herself up. It was so hard to keep the appearances. She was expecting Xion to be freaked out and leave but…

“It’s okay,” she said. Her hands were holding her arms; hold _her_ up. It was a gentle touch, filled with understanding. “I guess even princesses get tired, huh?”

Kairi nodded with shaky breaths.

“Man, where’s your knight in shining armor now?” Xion tried to joke around. Kairi had to fight the urge to grab her hand and say ‘_here’_. “How about you eat your ice cream? It’s gonna melt.”

Kairi nodded, licking it as she continued to lean on Xion.

“It’s salty…and sweet…” she managed to say, looking down to the ice pop.

Just like tears.

“It’s sea salt ice cream,” Xion confessed. “Sorry if you don’t like it. My best friends always buy them to me, and I got kinda addicted…”

“It’s alright,” Kairi said, licking it once again. “It’s perfect.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes.

“You wanna go somewhere else?” Xion asked.

_ <strike>Always say yes. </strike> _

“No,” Kairi murmured. “Can we stay up here a bit more?”

Xion smiled.

“Sure!”

It was the first time Kairi had felt her heartbeat in almost her entire life.

_<strike>Don’t be selfish</strike>_.

_4 Shore _

It had been via text message. And Kairi knew it was unfair. But she also knew that she would have never gotten the courage to say it if she were face to face with Sora.

Just the memory of that bright smile full of love and adoration made her heart squeeze. She couldn’t continue lying to herself like this.

After she sent the message a lot of thoughts came to her mind. Many possible outcomes of what she had just done. Sora getting angry and storming in was one of them, although she quickly discarded it as paranoia. Sora was too kind to do that.

Sora calling her, crying and asking what he had done wrong was more likely. She didn’t think she would be able to handle that.

Or maybe rumors. She had hinted in her message that she probably liked girls. Maybe Sora used it to get back at her. No, no…he wouldn’t do that, would he?

But when people found out she was the one who broke up with him…Maybe people stopped seeing her as a good person. Their opinion flurrying into hate. After all, Sora had too many friends, all who thought highly of him. The possibility of them turning against her wouldn’t be too strange.

What if Sora got depressed and didn’t show up? What if all the friends Kairi had made suddenly hated her? What if Sora changed schools? What ifs ran around her head, keeping her up at night as the weekend went down.

By the time she stepped inside the school, her mind was tired. So, so tired. The only glimpse of the happiness she had, was Xion talking to her during classes, promising her everything would be okay.

But in her never-ending catalog of possible outcomes, this one had been the only one she hadn’t anticipated.

Riku, standing in front of her during lunch. His face was unreadable, standing tall as if Kairi had sinned. She vaguely remembered him once fighting over her attention with Sora…Was he coming to win her back after they broke up? That sounded strange...

“Why?” was the first word he said. Kairi stared, confused and unsure. His frown deepened. “Why!?”

She flinched away from him. Her eyes wandered around, hoping the answer would pop out from somewhere.

“Why…what?” she asked, trying not to look directly at him in the eyes.

“Why did you break up with him?” he snarled. “Was he not good enough for you!?”

Kairi wasn’t sure what to answer. After the few years they had been together, Riku had become less of a friend to Sora and more of an acquaintance. At least, as far as she could see. Why was Riku suddenly so angry about this?

“It’s not that, I just-…” she tried to say, but the words got lost inside her throat. “I couldn’t keep sacrificing myself for him!”

_<strike>Don’t be selfish</strike>_.

“Sacrifice?” Riku asked. The way his eyes were burning made Kairi shiver. She could feel in her skin his anger, his hatred, and jealousy. It was like burning coal against her arms. “What do you even know about sacrifice!?”

She frowned.

“I know enough to see that I was _lying_,” she said with a firm tone. “What good does it do to keep someone happy with lies?”

“At least he would have been happy!” he screamed; yelled. Kairi felt a tug of realization in her mind. “He loves you!”

“And what about me?!” Kairi finally found the voice to yell back. “Don’t I get to say!? Why do people keep insisting I have to make someone else happy!? Who makes _me_ happy**_?_**!”

“He would have,” Riku breathed. “He would have made you happier than anyone…”

“How would you know,” Kairi said, out of breath. “You don’t know about us! You don’t know about me and you don’t know about-!”

“Don’t you dare say I don’t know about Sora,” Riku snapped. Kairi felt another tug in the back of her head. “There’s _no one _who knows more about him than me.”

“Wait…” she whispered, eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t tell me you-”

“I know him like I know my own life,” Riku said, his voice was falling off the edge of pain. “He’s the kindest, most trusting person you’ll ever know…”

“And you hurt him!”

The scream that tore from his throat made Kairi back away. Her mind went reeling back in time. Back when no matter what she did, Riku wouldn’t like her. What did she do? What was she being selfish with?

_Sora_.

“When he told me, he wanted to be with you…I stood by,” Riku whispered, punctuating each word with a voice full of rage. “I didn’t stand between you two…Do you know why?”

Kairi shook her head, although a voice inside her told her that she knew.

Maybe she had always known.

“Kairi, he’s the most important person I have,” Riku whispered, punctuating each word with a voice full of rage. “I would choose his happiness over mine, every single time…”

“And now I see you here, throwing everything away and…” Riku’s voice trembled. Even if she couldn’t see, she knew he was crying. Angry tears, full of bitterness and helplessness. “I can only ask myself: why…? Why did we do this? What have we done with our lives…?”

Kairi looked down to the ground. Drops of water were imprinted there, and she knew they weren’t hers. With a sigh, she took a step forward.

“Stop blaming me for your pain,” she said. He flinched. “I apologize for what I did to Sora…But it doesn’t change my mind. This is my path…maybe you should follow yours.”

Riku stepped away.

“Just talk to him,” Riku said. He was tired, she could tell from the look in his eyes. “Don’t make him cry anymore.”

“How about you?” Kairi asked. The wind blew between them. “Did you know he cried when you left him?”

The way his body stiffened under the question gave her all the answers she needed. 

“Maybe you should stop letting other people make him happy,” she said, “and make him happy yourself.”

She left.

_5 Horizon _

Kairi had sent him a message after he had skipped school. Sora was unsure of what to expect. He had cried all day. At first, he had hoped it was a mean prank, but he knew Kairi was not the kind to do that. Then he thought it was a dream and had gone back to sleep.

When reality finally hit him, he cried. And cried. And cried. Until there was no tear left for him to cry. He had gone to sleep and cried again when he woke up again. It was lame, but he couldn’t help it.

He had loved Kairi for _so_ long.

She asked him to meet him in their favorite coffee shop. The air between them was awkward, as he was still trying to wipe away the tear residues in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing she said. “I shouldn’t have broken up with you with a text.”

“It’s okay,” he lied with a smile.

“It’s not,” she insisted. “Riku was right…it wasn’t fair of me to do that…”

“Riku?” at the mention of his friend’s name, Sora looked up. His heart, still hurting and broken, began beating.

His excitement wasn’t overseen by Kairi, who let out a small laugh. He blushed. 

“You have friends who worry about you,” Kairi said with a shy smile. She twirled the straw of her mocha. “You should be happy about it.”

“You also have friends, Kairi!” he tried to say.

“…I do now…” she said. “But for the longest time…I’ve been lying to myself and to others about who I am…Can people really be friends like that?”

“You’re Kairi!” Sora said quickly. “That's not lying! No matter what happens, that’s real!”

She offered him a soft look.

“You’re a good person, Sora,” she said, her hands folded over her lap. “I’m really sorry.”

Sora tried to not to let the feeling of helplessness overcome him. Even when he was slowly shaking, in an attempt to hold back the cry caught in his throat. He shook his head, smile resting on his face.

“No…I should be thanking you,” he said, gripping the material of his pants over his knees. “For spending time with me…”

Furiously, he wiped away the tears that had yet to fall. His face was red all over. No wonder, he probably looked awful.

It was then when Kairi took his hand.

“I always thought,” she began, “that this is how things were supposed to be. A girl and a boy, isn’t that how all the fairy tales go?”

Her sigh echoed inside of Sora’s mind.

“But lately, I thought…What if the fairy tales were wrong?” she asked in turn. They stared at each other. Sora couldn’t keep up with the words, they were all a confusing mess inside his broken heart. “What if I _don’t_ belong here with you…? What if you don’t belong with me?”

“But…” Sora tried. “I always wanted to be with you…”

“Always?” she asked. “What about before I was here?”

_Riku_

The came to him without even trying, without a single moment of hesitation.

“What about when Riku stopped hanging out with us?” her question continued. “I always felt like…maybe I wasn’t number one in your heart…That you fell in love with the mirage of Kairi, but… your true heart…belonged to someone else.”

Sora wanted to scream it wasn’t true. That he loved Kairi, _the real Kairi_, no matter how she tried to say otherwise.

Nevertheless, a strange and insidious thought crossed his mind as soon as he opened his mouth. 

_If you had to choose…_

Despite himself, he knew the answer. His mind was saying a name, Kairi. Simply because that’s how things were supposed to be. You were supposed to love your girlfriend above everything else, right?

But his heart was calling a different name.

“He’s my friend,” he said. “Of course, I care for him-!”

“Riku came to see me.”

Sora’s heart began picking up the pace. Riku had liked Kairi too, right? Did he try to make a move on her, now that she is single? The thought alone hurt. Hurt more than anything he had ever thought would.

It was the first time he realized that, no matter how much time they had spent together, he had never pictured Riku with someone else.

“He was worried about you,” she said, eyes softly looking down to the table. “He cares.”

Sora couldn’t form words.

“We can still be friends if you want,” she offered with a kind smile. It was different from the ones before. From the ones, Sora had seen almost every day for years on end. It was _real_. “You know…the heart may be a confusing thing if you try to make sense of it. Sometimes, the best thing to do is simply…let it be.”

He nodded.

“Listen to your heart, Sora,” she said, as she stood up from the chair. “I’ll start doing the same.”

In the solitude of the coffee shop, Sora was left alone. His eyes were glazed, as he tried to process Kairi’s words. They felt right and foreign, at the same time.

He closed his eyes, doing exactly what Kairi had told him. Inside, there was only one thing that called, more than anything else.

_He wanted to see Riku again. _

_6 Rainbow_

It wasn’t until three weeks later that Riku finally had the guts to face Sora again. He found him sitting on the beach, just a few moments after the twilight had gone down. The only light was the few lamps hanging off the top of the trees.

Without thinking twice, he sat right by his side.

“You okay?” he asked, immediately regretting asking. _Of course, Sora **wasn’t **okay_.

“I don’t know,” was his answer. His voice was small, almost lost and broken. Sora’s voice should never sound like that. It was supposed to be bright and cheerful, pulling everyone out of the darkness that engulfed their hearts. “It hurts but…I can’t be mad at her.”

“Of course you can’t,” Riku chuckled, turning his eyes towards the stars. “I’d be surprised if you were.”

The silent shuffled between them.

“Hey, Riku,” Sora whispered against the sky. “Am I good enough?”

Riku blinked. Then blinked again.

“What?” was all he could really ask.

“Maybe if you had been the one to ask her out,” he said. Riku could see how his hands were trembling. “Maybe she would have _stayed_. I couldn’t make her happy, no matter how hard I tried and-”

“Stop!”

All Riku could hear was the blood rushing to his ears. His eyes were fixated on Sora’s wide and perplexed eyes.

“How can you say that…” he asked.

Sora’s eyes fell to the ground.

He knew that expression. He had seen it when they were younger, whenever the low rumble of the sea made its way into their homes. As if a monster had appeared in the basement.

Fear.

Sora was scared.

“I thought I had won,” Sora’s eyes began filling with tears again. _No, no please, don’t cry_. “I thought, maybe, I had finally found someone who thought I was _good_ enough…”

Sora brought his knees closer to his chest. The sniffles and sobs were still fresh as he spoke.

“But maybe I won’t ever be that,” he said. “I’ll always be good…but not enough.”

“You’re not good enough,” Riku’s words escaped him, without him thinking twice. The hurt in Sora’s face deepened. “You’re more than that!”

_You're my everything. You're the best thing in my life. You're more than that. You're everything I ever wanted. You're **Sora**. _He wanted to say, but he could only choke out a breath. The jealousy and anger that had been bubbling inside Riku for almost ten years now, finally evaporated, leaving wake to the guilt inside his heart. His hands reached to grab Sora’s wrists.

They fell to the ground, eyes staring at each other’s. Riku tried not to get lost in them like he had when he was a kid. Tried to find in his tongue, the words to convey exactly what he wanted to.

But it was useless. A cocktail of emotions was swirling inside of him, asphyxiating him until he was nothing, but a shivering games son top of Sora.

“Y-you’re…” he tried. For heaven’s sake, he tried. But they just got stuck in his throat, along with the urge to cry because what had happened to Sora? What had happened to his bubbly and kind friend?

“Riku.”

It was as if Sora could read his mind. As if that lame excuse of a confession had been enough to convey every bit of what he felt. As if it had been nearly enough to make up for everything in the past.

It wasn’t.

Sora’s hands went to cradle Riku’s face, softly wiping away the tears rolling down his cheeks. The sweetness with which Sora did it, made Riku’s heart squeeze. Under the soft hue of the starlight, Sora looked angelic. With sparkling eyes that looked at Riku like he was a god, and a smile so calm and full of care that Riku stopped breathing.

With the emotion overflowing from his heart, his hazed mind only supplied a thought.

He leaned forward.

It tasted like cherry lip balm and stardust in the dew. It was like a dream that held him tight, unable to wake up. Sora’s hands reached to the back of his neck, pulling him ever so closely, and Riku was sure his heart would stop beating any time soon.

But instead, it only raced faster. Thumping against his chest, about to break free. It was hell and heaven all wrapped up in a single person.

They pulled away. Riku was scared for a moment, that he had ruined everything. That perhaps, he had done something wrong. Anxiety rolled up his back, as he blinked to see Sora.

Whose eyes were dazed, hands still holding Riku’s arms tightly.

“I-…” Riku tried to say, but his words were cut short by Sora’s grip on his arm tightening.

“I liked it.”

Riku’s heart felt about to burst.

“Do it again?” it was an innocent question that shouldn’t shake him up as much as it did.

And against all judgment that had previously invaded him, Riku nodded and lost himself in the pleasure of the heart.

**Author's Note:**

> i made this while sleep deprived and listening to hamilton -ofc who wouldnt be able to tell i wonder -. Anyway, i was mostly just searching for an excuse to give kairi a bit more of a personality in soriku content. idk i just feel like she has so much potential for angst. 
> 
> by the way, if you didn't catch on it "shore" is where land meets the sea. "horizon" is where the sea meets the sky. and "rainbow" is where the sky meets land. 
> 
> im not entirely pleased with how it ended so, maybe someday i'll write an epilogue of sorts lol


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